


And at once I knew, I was not magnificent...

by Milliscent09



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 04:19:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11936175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milliscent09/pseuds/Milliscent09
Summary: It's those small moments in life, that really explain who you are and who you want to be or who you want to be with. Bell does some reflecting on just how important Clarke is.





	And at once I knew, I was not magnificent...

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Y'all.
> 
> So I was listening to Bon Iver's song Holocene, and that song gives me soooo many feels that I just had to write something about it including Bell and Clarke. This is my fist long fic and honestly I've had it written for a few weeks but it never felt write to share. But I just had to put it out there. 
> 
> I wanted to at least give it a try. 
> 
> So here it is.

It's funny, looking back Bellamy never realized how insignificant life was before Clarke. Nothing particularly triggers this thought but it's Saturday afternoon and across the room, Clarke is sitting there staring at her canvas with her arms resting above her head. She gets that way sometimes. When she is deep in thought, she gets lost in her work. Bellamy gets transfixed by her when she’s in these trances. Sitting the the sun room, her hair shines bright even on an overcast day like today. She brightens the room as if it isn’t raining outside. In this moment, a wave of serenity and weightlessness wash over him. Discarding his book on the coffee table, he just takes all of her in. These moments happen so often for him now, he forgets to appreciate how he got here with her. How is it that something so simple and insignificant as a rainy saturday afternoon reminds him that these moments he has with her meant so much more than he could have imagined. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Thinking back, he didn’t notice her on the dock at first. He just needed to get out of the house. The music and the people, sometimes can be so overwhelming. Halloween always seems to be such an intense holiday. He usually liked to steer clear of it to avoid the chaos, but this year Octavia talked him into going to a party her and her girlfriends. He could never successfully say no to his little sister. 

So there he was. Dressed up and at this party trying to find a reason or moment to duck out and get some peace and quiet.

Bellamy noticed the dock in the back yard and as it was completely vaccant, he saw his opportunity to escape. The closer he got to the water, he caught a glimpse of her hair. Her blonde waves caught the moonlight and truly made her look as if she was illuminated from within. He walked behind her and ended up sitting next to her at the end of the dock.

Almost immediately after he got comfortable she started to ramble.

“Can you believe those stars are already dead?” she mumbled out of nowhere still staring up at the sky. “But because they are so far away, it’ll take years for their light to disappear.” She finished.

Bellamy just stared at her in awe. After everything this girl has been through this past year, the life cycle of stars was the last thing he expected her to want to talk about. 

“Yeah. It’s pretty incredible.” He mumbled. “We should be able to see the meteor shower tonight too, I think”.

She finally looked at him, with those bright blue eyes that almost seemed to say thank you for humoring her. He knew she had something to say, but he would let her say it on her own time. 

Just as soon as he looked back up at the stars, she spoke again with such strength and yet such sadness. 

“After everything I’ve been through, I remind myself that I am a small particle hurtling through space. Not significant to anyone who doesn’t know me, but everyone who does, treats me like I’m the most fragile thing in the world.” her voice cracked

“I’m tired Bell. I just want to live in the moment. What happened last year was awful.” She barely got out, her voice starting to waiver. “But I just want to live. Take this moment, right now, looking at the stars and move on with my life…” She hesitated. “Our lives.” She finished in the smallest voice so small he almost didn’t hear her.

Bellamy took a moment. Wanting to help ease the pain, he placed his hand on the small of her back to reassure her that he was here and understood, as much as he could. He knew that she was trying to understand why all of these horrible things were happening to her, but to everyone’s surprise, she was handling it. Only he it seems got a glimpse into how much it was affecting her. He knew no matter how long she needed him, he would be there, but he knew she would be fine. She saw a glimpse of her future and in this moment, a glimpse was enough for now. 

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

One tuesday night bellamy was walking upstairs to head to his room and there he finds CDs strewn all over the hallway and her sprawled out on the floor. Clarke looked more at home and peaceful than he had ever seen her, and she didn’t even let him know she was coming over. But there she was just listening to some obscure Aero Flynn LP. Once she noticed him standing there staring at her, hair in his face and his crooked smile, she just beamed at him seeming to glow from within. She always managed to do that. No matter what mood she was in. She lit up the room. 

Bellamy slid down the wall and laid next to her just listening to the music as it reverberated off the hallway walls. It wasn’t his type of music, but oddly after hearing it, it felt like it was something he had been missing his whole life. Now letting the music wash over him, no words or moves distracting him, he let the songs soak through him. It was empowering, emotional and liberating. Only something he could truly experience with Clarke by his side.

With her next to him, he experienced everything with such clarity. It was his time to just let all of his anxiety and troubles just dissipate. Something so simple as listening to music on the hallway floor with the most important person in his life could be so monumentally life changing. It’s crazy how certain people bring that out of people. Thinking back on all of their moments together. This had to be the best. It was then that he knew that she was his world and he didn’t want to experience anything else unless she was with him. 

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

It was Christmas time with all of their friends around that Bellamy finally let Clarke know how important she was to him. To be honest, it didn’t come as a surprise anyone but Clarke. They were outside on the porch watching the snow fall when he just said it. 

“Clarke?” Bellamy whispered. 

Her blue eyes looking at him like he was the only person on the planet. Like he was the only one that mattered. He knew deep down that it was the other way around. 

He took a ragged breath and spoke. 

“You’re it for me. I’ve known it since you and I sat on the edge of that dock years ago. Every moment I spend with you is something I can’t ever fully describe to people. Everyone in that room in there knows how I feel about you because you are my world. My life didn’t truly begin to mean anything until you became a part of it. I was just wandering, not really knowing my purpose, or what I was supposed to do, until that night. When you talked about the stars. I just wanted to be there, for you. Be a part of your life. Thankfully you let me. And every moment since then has helped me see my future.” He took a breath trying to find the right words. “With you, I can see everything.” He finished, waiting for her to say something. 

Anything really. 

And then, as she does, she surprised him and reached up to place her hand on his face. Her eyes scanned his as the smallest smile appeared, her thumb traced from his lips to his chin, her brilliant blue eyes bore through his.

In the crisp icy cold air, she took a breath and spoke. “With you, I can see for miles.”


End file.
